This month I have been consuming two books, one on audio and the other on my Kindle. The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris, and Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.
I have admittedly shared before on my blog that I am a worrier, and for me it is dibilitating at times. I am also a procrastinator. Furthermore, I worry about being a procrastinator. Next, my mind is very good at judging me, and while sometimes that helps me do things that accomplish goals, often those judgements just beat me up and wear me down. Yeah, I intellectually get that my circumstance is not unique. Bottom line, I can’t seem to successfully live by the rules my mind makes up for me. It’s tiring, and often even depressing.
The Happiness Trap
I love this book, and I can’t recommend it enough. I first read it on my Kindle after my brother Ray recommended it to me. I then decided to get an audio book so I can review chapters over and over again. Here is the bottom line on why I love it. As a worrier, it gave me some tools on how to live by my values, while the worrying comes and goes like storms on a sea. (I love that analogy, even though I am not a boat person.) Russ talks about a strategy called “dropping anchor”, where the purpose is not not let your storms blow you around, but keep you safe while they pass. Great tip.
Here’s some more of what I got out of this book.
Noticing and Naming
Instead of trying to fight with the thoughts I have of worry, fear, disappointment, failure etc; I am learning to notice those thoughts and name them. This process influences the impact of these thoughts on my day to day actions, or ability to take actions.
Thanking my Mind
My mind is an over helpful friend, always looking out for me. But darn it, sometimes that friend is too much a pest. Russ suggests thanking your mind, and letting those thoughts pass. Simple and a bit trite at times, but it works. Again, thinking accurately about what is happening inside my brain.
Surfing Urges
I am a stress eater. It’s my favorite thing to do when I have a big decision. I eat. I have an email to write, eat something first. I have someone asking me for a decision, cook a meal, eat it. Maybe a drink too. I deserve those drinks, this stuff is stressful. (You get the idea). I learned to notice and name these urges too, and let them pass, using the dropping anchor technique Russ talks about in the book. And they do, these urges are just thoughts, and they will pass, and they do.
Living by My Values
The book comes to a climax I think when Russ get’s into how to live by your values. And having these choice points where you can let your over protective mind influence you down one path, or you can connect with your values and chose the other path. I love this concept. Although this is not a new idea for me at all, I have always been a big believer in living life by your values, I love how this book helps put it into practice. Good stuff.
Audiobook vs Written
I really enjoy the audiobook. Russ is from the UK and he reads the book himself. His personal twist on stories makes it very enjoyable to listen too. “Give it a go” as Russ would say.
Man’s Search for Meaning
Yeah, I am not a light reader. I tend to focus on nonfiction. Until last week, I have never read Viktor Frankl’s classic book. I took it with me on my Kindle on a backpacking trip and read it in a couple of sittings, highliting and taking notes on my kindle as I read along.
Meaning…
When I started this book I didn’t realize how well it would connect with my Audio book. But on the subject of “living by your values,” Viktor’s classic definitely lands that point.
“…There are three main avenues on which one arrives at meaning in life. The first is by creating a work or by doing a deed. The second is by experiencing something or encountering someone; in other words, meaning can be found not only in work but also in love.”
“Most important, however, is the third avenue to meaning in life: even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate [they] cannot change, may rise above [themself], may grow beyond [themself], and by so doing change [themself]. [They] may turn a personal tragedy into a triumph. – Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl~
To summarize the three ways someone arrives at meaning in life:
- Create a work or do a deed
- Find someone to love, and love them
- Turn tragedy into triumph
If you don’t know the backstory, Frankl survived four concentration camps in Nazi Germany. Having lost everything, he gives the background of his work, and talks about his life’s work in this book, “Logotherapy.” Bottom line = Meaning. Finding your meaning in life. His life and his story is an amazing testimony to what someone can overcome.
There are so many great ideas to connect with in this book, and the Kindle version has some extra stuff in the latest edition including speeches and a bit of his life story not told in the book. I really love the ending.
Frankl talks about saints and/or decent people. They are the minority, implying that to be a saint, they will always be in the minority. It’s not the majority who become saints. But the challenge to us to be to join the minority. Here are his own words.
“You may of course ask whether we really need to refer to “saints.” Wouldn’t it suffice just to refer to decent people? It is true that they form a minority. More than that, they always will remain a minority. And yet I see therein the very challenge to join the minority. For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best. So, let us be alert—alert in a twofold sense: Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.”
Be in the minority.
So much of what Frankl lost in life, is because the majority went along with it. I’m glad he was in the minority.
Let’s accept his challenge.
Danny Kolke 