Lessons #10 – About Church; don’t go to church to get something, go to church to serve other people. – from lessons from my father
My Dad
Most of you should know by now, that my dad was a pastor. His life was transformed after being in a terrible accident, a fire, and then spending nearly 18 months in the hospital. It was in that hospital room that he decided to be a minister.
So I am a preacher’s kid. We can be the worst, and as for my part, I have not been a saint. I have never thought of myself as a preachy sort of person, but this lesson from my father, probably more than any other, has changed my life, and in the most profound and positive way.
If you want to know the answer to these questions in my life;
- Why do I write music?
- Why do I write this blog?
- Why am I a Jazz musician?
- Why do I teach music?
- Why did I start Boxleys?
- Why did I start a nonprofit, JazzClubsNW?
- Why did I start a jazz festival?
- Why did I start a blues festival?
- How did I get to the point in my life where you follow your passion, and you do what you feel your called to do?
I am at a point in my life where I feel that I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do, and I have never been happier or more fulfilled. Here’s the short version of how I got here.
A Preacher’s Kid
Being a preacher’s kid, I had to go to church growing up. It was what we did. Not only that, most of my life my dad served in small communities and small churches, so I was ‘voluntold’ to do many things. It was just how it was. I not only went to church, I helped at church.
Not Getting Anything Out of It
I must admit that for years of going, and serving, I didn’t feel any different. But I kept going. I was brought up this way. It’s just what we did in my family, it’s just what I did. And as I got older, and lived on my own, at some point I stopped going. It’s not that I stopped believing in God, I just stopped going to church. They didn’t need me, and I was okay without it, I thought.
Weeks turned into months, and months into years.
Those were the dark days
Other things started happening in life. I got really busy with my career, and put my heart into my work. I decided I needed to make a lot of money to provide for my family. I just got busy, really busy. And that never stopped.
I remember these days being very stressful, and full of disappointment. Yeah I was good at my work, at least I thought I was. I did some really cool stuff in my career and technology. Stuff I should be proud of. But I didn’t feel fulfilled. I still felt like I was supposed to do music. I just never had the courage to do it. Everybody told me I couldn’t be successful as a musician, not directly, not to my face. But when you talk about music as a career, people tend to think you’re crazy. Like music is only meant to be a hobby, it’s not something you do to pay the bills.
So I would wake up every day and think about music, and not do it, and I was miserable. Yes, those were very dark days for me.
“We need someone to play piano for our choir, temporarily…”
I went back to church because of my brother. He asked me one day while we were working, to be the interim pianist, for his interim choir, that he was the interim choir director for. Did you follow that? This certainly was not big commitment with all those interims going on.
At that point in my life, I had not played piano, or read music in years. I told him, “I’m not sure I can read music, but I can improvise something and I help you out.” Thankfully he was okay with that answer, and that’s how it started.
I had every reason not to do it. I was SOOOO busy. I had to move things to make it work. But I did it.
So I started going to church to help other people, specifically my brother, and the people in his choir. And I can honestly say that one question, and my answer, that alone, has changed everything for me.
Music was back in my life
I started playing music again, I started playing piano again, I started singing again. I started having lots of fun playing music.
My brother started writing songs, but he wasn’t very good at what to do with the chord progressions so he asked me to help him. So I started doing that. And guess what, I started writing music again. We wrote lots of songs together, it was an amazing experience.
Somewhere along the way I stopped asking the question, “why am I doing this” or “what am I getting out of this” and I started just focusing on the music, and then the people I would meet. I focused more on what’s going on in their lives. I became part of a family, my church family. It was great.
What was that? “You need to follow that dream of yours…”
It was at church where I felt an overwhelming feeling, deep inside of me, it was an experience like nothing I had felt before. And I felt a presence inside of me say, “you need to follow that dream of yours.” And as if by magic, someone in my life, called me up out of the blue.
Dave Cook called me on the phone and asked me, “hey, were you serious about wanting to open a jazz club someday? I found a restaurant you can buy for a song.” And bam, Boxleys was born. There was more to it, but the timing was amazing. I felt like I was supposed to do this. I couldn’t turn back on it this time.
Dave Cook, and a message from God? Wow, that’s a strange thought. I hardly knew the guy. We bought a house from him sort of by accident. He knew I needed a house that could fit a grand piano, and in passing conversation I said to him someday I want to open a jazz club. And for some reason, he thought of me and called me up. Bam.
What a Wild Ride!!!
The journey from there has not been easy, that’s for sure. But it has been so fulfilling and nothing short of miraculous. The positive things that have happened my life, and in my community as a result of this have been amazing.
Church? Really? No…
Yeah, but I didn’t go to church for myself. I went to serve others. That’s the key for me. That was the reason I went. And what happened, somewhere along the way, changed me. It changed me from a self-centered person, into someone who focuses on others and see’s the good in people. I learned to love everyone I meet, and pray for them, and care for them. Not judge them. It changed me.
Going to church, not for myself, but to serve others, has changed my life for the better. More than any other thing I have done. I have more joy in my life, than words can express. I have been changed.
In doing so, I have had a spiritual experience, an awakening. I have experienced a wave of emotional power. A deep conviction of what I am supposed to do. A sense of amazing joy. And I never want to lose it.
I have had a spiritual experience, an awakening. I have experienced a wave of emotional power. A deep convinction of what I am supposed to do. A sense of amazing joy. And I never want to lose it.
You may think I’m crazy, and I don’t care…
You may think I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I met God in a very personal way, through being faithful in service to others. And I am changed.
I am doing what I am supposed to do. And it feels amazing.
So you don’t believe in God, good for you…
Yeah, that’s your choice. I respect that it’s your choice. I will love you just the same. You don’t have to believe what I believe for me to love you. I hope you feel the same way towards me. I’ll just ask you to respect my choice too, and realize that each one of us at times may think the other one is crazy. And we can love each other just the same.
Maybe for you, you can take the Church out of this lesson and it will still work for you?
About _______; don’t go to _______ to get something, go to ______ to serve other people.
Yeah, I learned that too. It doesn’t matter where I go, if I go to serve others, I magically find joy. Maybe not right away, but if I keep doing it, it will happen.
Danny Kolke 