Continuing my series on Lessons from My Father… In my opinion, my dad learned this one the hard way, and it may have cost him his life.
That pain in your back, well, you are not just getting old. It’s not your bed. You have cancer.
I believe my dad waited too long to go to the doctor. This lesson I learned from him, as many of his other lessons, through my dad’s own mistake. It’s possible that with the diagnosis he finally received, it may have not made any difference in the outcome. But we will never know.
Dad told me one time that his doctor had said that his cancer wouldn’t kill him, but that was his prostate cancer. This was a different cancer, and we don’t know where it came from. He just got it. This time the diagnosis was Stage III Neuroendocrine Small Cell Carcinoma, and from the time of his diagnosis, he was gone in six months. What? What happened to Stage 1 and 2?
Oh I know what this is
Misdiagnosis. Self-diagnosis. Thinking that you know what it is? That pain, that funny feeling? That discomfort? Hmm…. I guess you could be right? Dad was wrong. I have been wrong. Dad had been right too. So have I. Certainly not 100% on the topic of being in good health.
Why don’t people go to the doctor?
Goggle’s top answer today is that “Sometimes, a person may be reluctant to seek medical care, even when routine, out of the fear that they will be told something is wrong. They may refuse to have tests or screenings because they are afraid of receiving a difficult diagnosis or something else they perceive as “bad news.””
Huh. I guess I can relate to that.
Not wanting to know
Sometimes I think that I don’t want to know. Especially if it’s something big, I can’t do anything about. I think to myself, “just let it happen, it’ll be better that way.” But that doesn’t stop me from worrying and I think to myself that my family, and my friends would want to know if something big was happening. Because I believe they do care for me. So I owe it to them.
So much for that excuse..
Fear
This is not so much different than not wanting to know. I’ll move on. Fear is not important than knowing. If the fear is unfounded, better to know. If the fear has basis, better to know. If not for you, then for those that love you.
A Worrying Hypochondriac
Is there any other kind of hypochondriac?
I’m one of these people. My natural tendency is to worry. We have a joke in my family that if you just tell me the symptoms, I will develop them. You may think that as a hypochondriac that I’d like to go to the doctor, but I don’t. I guess it’s because I fear my worst fears will be confirmed.
Too busy
I guess I like to use the excuse that I am too busy as my first excuse. I always have something going on and often getting into see the doctor takes time. Also, it seems like it’s harder and harder to get an appointment that’s in the near future. I actually have to stop doing something to make time to go to the doctor, I have to change a ritual, stop my schedule. And go.
The hassle
It has always been kind of a hassle, at least in the past. With technology these days, it really isn’t. I can just book appointments on my doctor’s website. I can even ask questions right there. There’s no legitimate excuse when it comes to the “hassle”. There just is not one anymore.
Home Remedies
I guess if home remedies always worked, we would not need modern medicine except for really big operations. I’m all for good nutrition and vitamins, exercise all the stuff they say you’re supposed to do sometimes rest and a good home remedy is just the ticket. But not always.
But not always
I have a number of friends with varying medical issues, and one common thread. Far too often they wait too long to get checked out. Granted, a lot of things are not worth worrying about, but putting off what you know you should do, is not wise. And far often it’s downright foolish and the consequences can be significant.
The Promise
My wife and I made a pact with eachother that we’re going to take care of ourselves, so we can be there for eachother as long as possible. We also did this for our kids, and we want to be there for them as long as we can. And maybe someday, our grandkids too?
Putting off that doctor visit, that shingles vaccine, those things that you know you need to do, don’t do it.
Make it a Priority
To do something you need to do, you probably need to stop doing something else, and just take care of it. This is important stuff.
You’ll do it tomorrow?
Sure you will. That’s how things don’t get done. It can wait? Maybe not.
My dad felt great, except for some pain in his back. One of his doctors had said, “Well… What do you expect? You’re 90 years old.” Yeah sometimes doctors get it wrong. My dad was out chopping wood, walking every day, very physically active taking care of their property. He wrote pretty much every day and studied. He was mentally sharp. His grandfather lived to be over 100 and Dad thought he would do the same. He didn’t feel old. He kept doing what he was doing, assuming month after month that this pain in his back was just a sign of “getting old”. But in his case, it turns out that back pain was his lungs. And when he began to notice some trouble breathing, the diagnosis was too late. He should have gone back to his doctor months prior. He had the pain for years, but he waited.
Take this lesson from my father; don’t wait to go to the doctor.
Don’t put it off.
Danny Kolke 