If you can worry about it, I think I got it covered. But I am worried that I may not… You know, have worried enough about it?
Worry is one of my defining characteristics. I don’t actually take action on things that I worry about, I just worry. I am really good at that.
What do I worry about? Pretty much everything. Health, income, expenses, family, kids, diseases, scheduling things. Not being somewhere I am supposed to be. Not getting done what I want to get done. Letting someone down. Letting down my family. Letting down friends. I can keep going.
I am really good at worrying.
It’s weird because I go through seasons of worry. Sometimes I seem to be totally blind to things that I should be worried about. It’s like I don’t see them. And suddenly they show up again and, BAM I have so much to worry about.
Did I make the right decision? What if I didn’t? What if that was the dumbest thing I ever did, just now? Should I even be writing this and sharing it with you?
Worry worry worry.
Should I have used comma’s in that sentence? Was that even a sentence? And that one? Wait, this one?
I worry that you may read this and think I am an idiot. Eh. I guess I’d need to know who you are before I worry too much about that one.
I guess I can apply some reasoning to my worries. Sometimes with more success than others.
As a parent, what’s there not to worry about? I was worried about having kids before I had kids. Oh my gosh, so much to worry about before having kids. Right? I worried about getting married, the commitment of that. These are lifelong decisions. They have consequences.
Worry and Consequences. I guess that’s what I worry about most.
Isn’t that interesting? Worry and consequences? Worrying about consequences?
There is so much that I worry about that I can’t control. I think this ties back to my previous post about learning to accept what I can control, and just letting the rest go. I can’t stop worrying. I’m not wired that way. But I can react to my worry in new ways.
Sometimes calling it out, and talking to myself about it helps. Sometimes talking to someone else about it helps. Sometimes praying about it helps.
Can I do something about it? If so, what? And is the “what I can do” reasonable? Do I need to make change? Maybe I do. When I can, I try to do that.
Again, making a decision to do something about it, and starting goes a long ways towards dealing with it for me.
For the things that I can’t change, accepting that and deciding to do something else, is equally liberating for me.
Waiting.
Waiting while worrying has to be the worst. That feeling like there is nothing I can do right now other than wait. In these moments, I try to divert myself to other things. Otherwise occupy my thoughts, and my actions.
Being busy helps pass that time, and the time will pass. And you know, all time passes eventually. Now that’s something to worry about.
What should I be doing while this time passes? Maybe that’s a worry worth having?
Is this a mostly complete guide? Probably not. I’m worried I may have let you down.
Worry worry worry
Danny Kolke 