It’s Our Turn

I already mentioned this in a previous post, but I thought it was worth repeating. I think it’s a good way to sum everything up.

The End of the Story

As my dad was in his last days, dying from a cancer that decreased his ability to be present with us, I struggled. It seemed so unfair the way the end was coming. I was convinced it was not what he would have wanted, and I was upset and disappointed. 

I wanted my dad to feel thankful in his last days, and have him feel the thankfulness others had for what he had given them, his love, but he didn’t seem able to. The pain was too strong, the pain meds were too strong, and the Terminal Agitation too great. He was kind until the end, but he suffered, and then he was gone. 

As my dad left, it became clear to me what the next chapter was. It was now my turn to be an example to the next generation. It was my turn to do good, to show love, to live the lessons that my dad lived. 

It’s Now My Turn,
It’s Now Your Turn Too

Our lives are examples for others, be they for good or bad; they are a testimony of what to do, and what not to do.

We don’t get to choose to ‘not be an example,’ we are one whether we like it or not. If we chose to have children, it’s obvious that we are examples. If we chose not to, we are also an example to friends, to other people’s children. If we chose to live in isolation, our removal from society is yet another example. They are all examples. If we do good, if we do bad, if we help, if we harm, they are all examples; whether we like it or not. Whether we chose to be an example or not, we are.

Sorry. That’s the bad news. You don’t get to choose to not be an example. It’s too late. All you can do now is choose what to do with what you have, your time, your people in your life, the people you will meet, and your resources. 

It’s Your Turn To Be An Example

It’s your turn to do good, it’s your turn to love others, and it’s my turn to do the same. 

To give more than we take, to love more than we hate, to forgive more than we condemn. A commitment to do good, that’s what we should all make.

To want a better world, complain that it doesn’t exist, and not make an effort to do your part; that is how most people live. Don’t be like them. Walk away from that type of thinking. 

Remember the lessons my dad taught me, and maybe they will help you find a joy in your life that cannot be squashed. 

1- Be thankful for everything you have been given. And say thank you, all the time.

2- In the end, our time is so short. Don’t waste your time judging others. It’s not worth wasting your wit on anger. Just focus on what you can do, yourself

3- Love everyone for who they are now, not who they can be, and not what they should be. This includes your spouse, your children, your friends, and total strangers.

4- We are all individuals, each one of us. We are God’s unique creation. You can never be what others are, be the best you.

5- Try to understand what other people think, and “why” they think that way. Even if you are convinced they are wrong, and they very well may be.

6- Listening is Love, be a good listener. And hug people too.

7- Serve others and you will find happiness. If you don’t know where to start, start by listening to them.

8- It’s okay to change your opinions, don’t be too proud of them. Change them all the time.

9- You can learn to enjoy Jazz. You can learn how to do anything.

10- About Church – Don’t go to church to get something, go to church to serve other people.

11- About Evil – Evil is a real thing, and there are people who serve it. Most of them are foolishly unaware of the evil they do. Be careful of them, but love them too, and pray for them. Remember that even the best people, with the best intentions can hurt you.

12- It’s hard to take your own advice. I make dumb mistakes all the time. So do others. It’s okay.

13- Don’t wait to go to the doctor.

14- Life is a gift. Walk more, Chop wood, Don’t give up. Fight for the life you have been given.

15- I don’t need anything. I have everything I need. I am so thankful.

My dad was a great man, not because of his great deeds. Not because of his writing, nor his degrees, not even because he was knighted. My dad was a great man because of his capacity to love. He genuinely loved people. And not because they agreed with him. Maybe it was because he was commanded to love? His life was literally altered by a fire. Maybe he believed God tapped him on the shoulder, saved him from that horrible accident, and every day was a gift, a gift of grace? Every single thing and every little detail after that day was a miracle. A new life. An opportunity to love, his wife, his children, and grandchildren, and his friends. God told him to love, how could he not obey that command?

So if you are wondering if my dad really loved you, the answer is “yes.”

And I am named after my father. I am here to carry on his legacy of love and caring for others and pursuing what’s in my heart. If I can offer you any of his wisdom at all it would be this, put away your petty feelings, put away your disappointment in others. Just accept them as what they are, feelings. Make a new decision to love everyone for who they are. Let’s move on, and do good works together. For that is what we were created to do.

To my wife Robyn, I love you. You are the most beautiful treasure I have been given.

To my children Leslie, James and Daniel, I am so proud of each of you. I love each opportunity I get to hear your voice and talk with you. I am so thankful for you. I love you.

To my brothers, my mother, my extended family, the same is true of you. I love you.

To my friends. I am so proud of you. You amaze me with the things you do. I enjoy our time together, each chance we get to talk. My only regret is not having more time to spend with you. Let’s spend more time together. Let’s do that for my dad, and for each other.

It’s Now Our Turn