I’m watching the sun chase the clouds away. It’s as if the weather doesn’t remember how cruel it was a few hours ago. The camera on my smartphone really doesn’t do my picture justice – I’m amazed at how beautiful it is.  It’s so bright and refreshing and energizing, and yet it was really ugly, dark and dim just a few hours ago.  

A few hours ago I said something I regret saying and I can never take it back.  I have apologized but I still feel horrible.  I let myself overreact.  No, I didn’t curse or insult or say anything demeaning; but I definitely showed my anger.  I took offense to what someone said in an email and I ranted.  I screamed in ALL CAPS and for me that’s a big deal. It’s way out of character for me.

I know better. I know not to loose my patience and I know not to rant.  I still did it. And I know that I hurt whom I threw my words at.  I really didn’t want it to be hurtful, but it doesn’t matter.  It hurt them.  Unintended consequences, damage done.  

I wish I could be like the weather and let the storm blow over.  I wish I could chase the clouds away and let the sun warm the ground below.  It’s so amazing how quickly the weather can turn. And for me it’s harder to forgive myself than it is for me to forgive others.  Meanwhile, damage done, time wasted, and for what purpose?

I cannot think of a valid reason to say hurtful things to anyone you care about.  And more often than not, I am sure what we say is not meant to be hurtful.  Regardless, ideas expressed whether out of defensiveness or aggressiveness – if they are expressed in anger, they hurt.

It’s very unwise when you are angry to take quick action.  It’s most certainly unwise to rant and show your anger.  What good does it create in the end?  Better to hold back your wrath and see if the storm passes.  Better to wait and see.  Better to look at their intentions and not rush to judgment and worse; express condemnation on anyone else in anger.

If you must attack an idea; do it with intelligence and do it with tact and resourcefulness. Do it with planning.  Express your concerns and ideas in a way that is articulate and constructive towards a positive end.  If you need to tear down an idea, even more so – do it on the basis of solid expression of ideas.  No reason to devalue your concerns by acting out in anger.  

Put your words to better use than shouting. Remember to construct them carefully; there are more important things that need to be done.

I’ll endeavor to do the same.

-d