The acquisition of riches is not an end, but a change of troubles – Epicurus

How are you doing? Me? Tough to say sometimes. I think I am doing well. I am not a “happy-go-lucky” type of person. Actually, if I was going to give a color to my disposition, it would be a dark color. Maybe the same gray as a Seattle sky in the winter.

This year has started off as an incredibly crazy one. There were many things that needed to be taken care of that weren’t in my plans. Taking care of them turned out to be an important goal. 

In January I had a season of memorial services for some well respected and loved people, not a normal occurrence. Recording sessions, performances, rehearsals, lessons, which are the normal. And then there is the big one; my mom sold her house and had to be out by the end of the month. Unfortunately, my brother’s both had illnesses that left a lot of the work to be done by me. Mom’s 84 so let’s just say she can’t tear down the sheds my dad built that didn’t pass inspection. Regardless, January was crazy, but that is done. That goal is over, but the journey goes on. Now what?

Sometimes goals are things that get in the way of the journey you are trying to experience.

Journey vs Destination?

I’m still trying to accept that it’s about the journey, not the destination. The goal should be the journey. The journey is what life is.

If the goal is the destination, then winning is all that matters. If you don’t win, what’s the point in playing? Why would you play to lose? The same is true for fans of sports. If winning is the only point, why watch the game? Just check the score when it’s over. 

For me, focusing on the destination as the goal usually leads to darker days and a general feeling that there is no point. And still, while I know that, and as much as I long to feel that it’s about the journey, there are days that I can’t seem to. I don’t seem to be able to not focus on the destination. 

So I do experience days where I feel down. I guess the good thing is that these feelings help me feel compassion for others who suffer with despair. It also reminds me that I am not immune to despair and depression. It reminds me to call friends, and call loved ones.

I have often asked, why am I this way? Why can’t I just see the good? Why can’t I just be happy all the time? Wow. I can’t answer that one in a just a few words. But I have learned a lot about the good that can come out of feeling down. Follow me on this one…

Feeling down?

It gives me creative energy. It’s a reference point.

The darkness helps me, as long as I don’t let it consume me. As long as I don’t reach the “what difference does it make,” statement versus question.

It reminds me to look for things to be thankful about. 

It reminds me that I have very special people in my life, and they are the reason that I do what I do. They are where I find joy.

It reminds me to get rid of things that distract me from the journey I’m on. 

It reminds me to not take life for granted, and keep investing in the people in my life. It reminds me that happiness is finding someone to live for. 

It teaches me to appreciate the great days all the more. Again, like the blue skies in Seattle, it seems to make everything okay when we experience them.

So how am I doing? Good. I’m good. Sure I have things that I worry about. But that’s ok. Today I’m feeling a little lethargic. I think I’ll have more coffee, and take some more time to reflect about this journey I’m on. I think I’ll take some time to connect with the people in my life and be thankful for them. 

How’s it going for you? Not sure. Look for good wherever you can find it. Find someone to spend some time with. 

Focus on what you can do on your journey, not on the result. Celebrate with the people in your life.

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