Another Year Goes By

Another year has gone by, and I am still here reflecting on a very important day in my life—today would have been my dad’s 95th birthday.

It used to be a really big number, 95. Not anymore. And he was so healthy up until a few months before he was gone. It was cancer that took his life, not old age. I still think at 91, he was too young. Maybe that’s because now when I look in my own rearview mirror, there are a lot of years behind me, and I am closer to 95 than 0. So are so many of the people I love.

Well, if my dad were still alive today, I imagine he’d chuckle at the idea of turning 95. He’d probably make comment about everything he has witnessed, from horses and wagons to airplanes and spaceships. He’d make predictions based on how history repeats itself. We’d talk about family, friends, and music. But he’s not here. And that absence still feels big, it still hurts, even after now almost four years.

Grief is hard. You get busy with life, doing things—and then out of no where it hit’s you again. And that sadness, emptiness, loneliness hit’s you again. I have another friend who just lost her mom, and I hurt for her, and then I hurt for me, again.

I find myself thinking about the little things—the sound of his voice, his smile, his disfigured hands (my dad was a burn victim). His hands were so soft, and so rough at the same time. And my dad gave the best hugs, I think I miss that most of all. No, it’s just talking with him. That’s it. That’s the big one.

He was born March 13th, 1930 in what was Poland at the time. It is Ukraine today. More of his story is here…

Today, I just want to say thank you, Dad. For everything. I think about you every day. You are missed. But more than that, I notice that you live on in all of us you left behind.

Love you.

-danny